1. The idea of getting your ass out of bed, dressing up and stepping out of your front door is just

2. When you take public transport, you can’t help but think:

3. You’re on your way to meet a friend and then you get a text from her saying she’s brought a tag-along.

This is your reaction:

4. You find yourself praying that plans get cancelled all the time.

5. When you get invited to a house party, you pray to God they’ve got a pet so you can act busy and not interact with actual human beings.

6. When people tap you on the shoulder, or try to do that cheek-kissy thing that white people love, or touch you in any way:

7. When someone whips out a camera and everyone squeals in delight, you’re just like:

8. You loovvvveee the internet. And the invention of mobile phones…